New Semester

Sometimes I really hate my life, like I have nothing to live for. Nothing ever seems to go right in my life, and I don't know why. I know there is a god, but why is he never on my side? Everything always seems screwed up, even when things are looking good, they go down again. I don't understand it. Today was the first day of classes. I had a rough day and I am so tired right now. I have no clue what i want to do wit hmy life. I thought that coming to NAU was the right decision for me- that it would answer all of my problems. was it the right choice to make? All I wanna do is get a good paying job so that I can get all of t he great things in life- a good car, a house, and live happily ever after. Nicole doesn't even know how good she has it. She doesn'thave to work for anything...sure she has to raise her children, but at least she knows hwat her life has in stole for her, right? I dont understand life at all, and i wish i did. I am almost 22 years old...Most people my age are graduated from college already. Why have all of my choices been so horrible! why is god sooo against everything i do and don't help me at all? is it cuz i'm not as committed as some people who are so devoted to the lord? I believe in god. I dont deny it. why can't i just get what i want without problems? I guess it's just how life is and I should just grow up and deal with it.
i'm gonna let this out in the air and hope that i get this together, get my life together soon. i hate feeling so lost. Let's hope so anyways. :-)
I am also kind of curious if anybody actually reads these or not...kinda would be nice for some feedback and/or suggestions :-) thanks!